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When A Partner Is Unfaithful Is Divorce The Only Way Out

There doesn't seem to be a day that goes by that you don't hear about someone getting a divorce. It just seems to be a fact of life that we've all learned to accept. We all have someone in our lives that divorce has touched. Divorce claims a high toll and not only on the people directly involved.

Immediate family, extended family and friends are all touched. It's touched me personally. One day my sister phoned me. She had caught her husband in the act of bringing another woman into their home. She and her husband had been married 17 years, she had known him since childhood. Suddenly she was convinced that divorce was the only answer.

My sister basically fell apart in the following months. Between numerous lawyer visits and court appearances, my sister lost weight, cried constantly, lost her self esteem and became increasingly reliant on others for her basic needs. As my sister had no savings she had to rely on our parents not only for legal expenses but for the basic necessities as well.

This was not an easy burden for my parents to bear. She asked me to assist her in working out the details of the divorce, particularly the division of assets. For me it seemed like a no-win situation as no matter what I decided I would likely be blamed for anything that didn't work out. As all of this was progressing, an interesting thing began to happen. My sister started talking to her husband on the phone every day.

I noticed that she began to eat again and she didn't bite my head off every time I said something to her. I really didn't want her to go back to her husband, but it seemed that he was the only person who could make her happy. I had to step back and let her make her own decisions. After all, it was her life, not mine.

This was something I had to remind myself over and over again. Of course, the reconciliation process wasn't expected to be an easy one. My sister and her husband agreed to see a marriage counselor who told them that reconciliation was indeed possible but would require significant effort on their part and real dedication to making their marriage work again. They decided that they would do whatever was necessary to make things right once again. In a way, forgiveness was the key to the resurrection of their marriage. I certainly underestimated the amount of forgiveness my sister had in her heart but there was apparently enough.

All of this happened five years ago and they have been happily married since getting back together. They worked hard to regain the trust that was lost and they continue to work at keeping their marriage a happy one. They make it a point to set aside time to be together, plan annual vacations and always have a little talk before going to sleep at night. Believe it or not, just the thought of the high cost of divorce financially or emotionally has taught me to pay attention to my marriage.

Setting aside a special date night a couple of times a month is important to me. Even if it means going down to the corner for a hot dog, at least it's time spent together without the rest of the world intruding. Divorce is scary to most people and that includes your children.

It should be hard to separate from each other. Most importantly, when we make the decision to get married, we should remember that we are making sacred vows. It is a lifetime commitment that, in my opinion, is definitely worth it. You have your good days and bad days but always remember that you made the vow and should do everything you can to keep it.

Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you rebuild after infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.



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